By Zig Ziglar
Dr. Tony Campolo, professor emeritus of Eastern College in Pennsylvania, says that we are most influenced by the opinion of the most important person in our lives. He says that as we grew up our parents were the most important people or person in our life. Unfortunately, too many times parents take the negative route instead of the positive one and the results frequently are disastrous. Bill Glass, who has conducted revivals in over 350 prisons in America, says that 90% of the people who are incarcerated say their parents constantly harped on the negative, frequently saying things like, “You will never amount to anything,” and “One of these days you’re going to end up in jail.”
Other negative statements many parents verbalize is, “Can’t you do anything right?” If the child leaves his shirttail out, the comment is, “You never look nice.” If she temporarily loses something, the parent often says, “You are always losing things! Can’t you remember where you put anything?” If the child flunks a test in school, the negative parent is inclined to say, “You never learn anything.”
The solution is to change from the negative to the positive and one way to do that is to remember that failure is an event—it is not a person. Another way is to understand that your child might make a mistake, but the child is not a mistake. Your child, like all of us, might do a bad thing. However, that does not mean the child is bad, so you correct the mistake and encourage the child by teaching him or her the correct way to behave or perform. When the child brings the test paper home, instead of looking at the red marks indicating what is wrong, concentrate on the correct answers. Then go over with them the errors and talk about the right answers. Chances are pretty good that you, Parent, missed a few questions along the way when you were in school. Put your emphasis on the positive—and I’ll see you and your child AT THE TOP!
The solution is to change from the negative to the positive and one way to do that is to remember that failure is an event—it is not a person. Another way is to understand that your child might make a mistake, but the child is not a mistake. ~Zig Ziglar